Saturday, September 15, 2007

And it still goes on...

I can't stand it; this feeling is just revolting inside of me. My arms are aching and I have nothing to cease the pain. I don't want this pain to stop, this pain which is brought forth by the absence of her within the grasp of my arms. How I long for one day to have her in my arms and hold her tight, have our hearts synchronize as one. Majestic unison of the language of two different souls, one voice, one mutual feeling, each other. Having her close to me, her head on my shoulder, her hair closer to my face, her neck showing ever so slightly amidst the strands of her golden hair. I would dare to dive and approach her neck like a predator about to devour it’s pray. But subtle and gentle I would be, with the same precision, and finally be close enough for me to breath her scent. I would reach a state mental and physical of utter awe. The world around us would crumble into star dust and our bodies would feel weightless across an ocean of jealous stars that look upon her beauty and can't help but wish that they too could be as beautiful as her. Ah but what a celestial arrangement her being is, perfect to the most hard to find detail.

Hardship

Yet another day has gone by where I have been forced to suppress my feelings inside. I don't know if this is the way it should be or if I should just let her know, but I don't want to cause any problems. What if I push her away? I couldn't live with my self if such a thing were to happen. I see her five out of seven days of the week. The weekend its short but it helps my passion for her rise. Its as if the days when I don't see her I miss her and by that I re enforce my feelings for her. Hard to explain to you with words but its so easy to understand if you have ever been here in my situation. Ah what a bitter sweet life I lead, the woman with whom I have started to fall in love with, is withing my reach and maybe easily attainable but yet she feels so forbidden. Maybe that's what makes me feel like I do for her, the fact that I know I can't get to her, though I've had her before. Ah what a blessing that was, that was the first time in my life where I could say dreams come true. Fine you can rightfully say that the kind of dream where lust is involved shouldn't really count given that feelings are not usually linked with them, but for me they were. It was a very faint feeling I'll be honest, but when me and her were alone and our bodies intertwined, it felt as if it were always like that. Her body full of splendor, her skin softer than any fabric known to man, her scent sweet and engrossingly attractive complement her beautiful honey colored eyes. Her eyes are so modest and kind, both holding a power that so easily reaches down to my heart, they grab and hold me for as long as I can keep their image in my mind. After, when her eyes become another one of my memories in my brain, I feel the need to see her. Its as if it were a drug for a life time junkie and the moment it goes away I go into withdrawal. Not violent like a normal junkie, but you would find me staring up at the sky looking for a pair of stars that might resemble the splendor in her eyes. So now I continue to sit, thinking about her, so very close and yet never in my arms. The words start to run thin as feeling surpass the simple metaphor of the human tongue.

Welcome to my madness..

Thanks for coming; here you will find a collection of things I randomly come up with. Most of them are a way to vent out how I feel, others are just random stuff my mind comes up with. I like to write short stories on my spare time, hopefully I'll get to post some here too :) So please keep coming back, I post things every now and then and some times more often than others. Again thanks for coming and hope you enjoy what you see, and please feel free to comment!!! :)