It's been quite some time since I last wrote here. I haven't had much to write I guess, or worse, I have swallowed up anything I would've written here long ago. No matter, here I am, about to bare you my inner thoughts. I have noticed that I have become isolated from the world around me, not in the physical sense, no, but in the emotional and somewhat metal sense. You see, I happen to enjoy talking and when I meant talking, I mean lengthy talks about random stuff. Whether it be about how the different temperature of the passing seasons affect the way colors look around you, or about how in my head there are actual places where I can go and revisit. Not all of these places are nice ones to go to, however, my mind has found it necessary to make them a permanent staple in the geology of my mind. I'm alone on those topics and more. Talking might not seem to be a very important aspect of a person's life, much less if you think that the two points I've just mentioned are of no interest to you, but when you are like me and enjoy the act of thinking and elaborating on a single strand of thought, it matters. What I like to talk about and what interests me, is, what who am I, who I like to be.
Friends and siblings I have, however, none share the interest that I have. I find my self feeling like I'm forcing my words on to them, like if what I am saying is the price to pay for knowing me and getting to spend time with and around me. No one really is listing but rather just hearing words coming out of my mouth, all they do is listen to a few words here and there and then make a comment on that one thing they actually listened to. I'm not one to make people have interest in something that doesn't interest them, let alone force interest on me. But its not their fault, no, I don't blame them. I have a rather complex view of the world, I take too much time thinking stuff over, stuff that most people would just want them to pass by and be done with them. I stare and linger at the simplest of things, I find something to talk about in anything and everything. The problem is, none of it is really a topic of conversation to those that don't see the world the same.
I've tried talking to people with "Me Mode" fully on, however, its not an aspect of me that people are drawn to, I come out as being weird or odd. Maybe I'm wrong, but then, how is it that I get to feel this way. For a certain feeling to be triggered you must be put through a certain kind of situation. If you feel fear, then you are in some uncomfortable place that holds a lot of unknown elements and that causes you to fear the place. If I feel like I do, like no one really wants to listen to what I have to say, is because I have been to that place where no one was listening, at least not to me.